-the acorn
One more shift to fill for this week. It feels quite short considering my fast exit today. I left because of what I imagine is menstrual pain without the menstruation (I know, everyone's favourite subject).
I felt like such a stupid child when I was telling the educator. I said "I'm not feeling very well right now," as I pinched my eye trying to not release the slowly pooling tear. Today was just so bad though. It came completely out of nowhere. One second I was fine the next I was keeled over from the sharp stabbing feeling in my lower abdomen. I don't know if maybe I'm also getting sick but I was dry heaving, having the most overactive bowels and on top of that having chills and heat flashes. I have a problem that I never feel like people believe me about stuff like this. I want to be able to present people with evidence of my illness. Even to me though it just seems unbelievable to think that someone can be in so much pain because of something so 'normal' and frequent as your period. I was telling Julian that I want some proof that I don't have a tumour, or a cyst or something causing that pain. If it is simply menstrual pain I'll deal with that but I don't really feel like I have been giving any reassurance that there are not other causes (as paranoid as that may sound). It seems rather odd that something can be considered non-pathological when it is this debilitating.
I am getting paid this week which should be quite a change from last week where I basically just paid off my credit card and paid Julian back for a bunch of trip stuff. I'm going to try really hard to save the majority of it. If Julian and I end up going to England it would be nice to just coast off my summer earnings for a change.
I guess I don't have anything very interesting to say on this thing.
I have this new fixation with researching all Canadian bands to maximize the chance of being able to see a band I really like live. I figure, there are other people in different countries who would probably kill to see some Canadian group or artist but maybe because of where they live, there is a very slim chance that this may happen. I want to take advantage of these opportunities. Besides, I have a lot of faith in Canadian music. I feel like Canada has a lot of ignored (or at least under-acknowledged) musical brilliance. So far I haven't even made it past the A's. I am at The Acorn, a band I know that I like, just not to what extent at this point.
Its so gratifying to make decisions in which the process is almost as enjoyable as the result. Maybe that is why people become so obsessed with classifications. Its like an organized sport. It gives them an excuse to dedicate so much time and importance to something that is nothing more than a harmless indulgence. Best of all, they can validate their decisions as works of art that parallel the art that they love to admire.
One more shift to fill for this week. It feels quite short considering my fast exit today. I left because of what I imagine is menstrual pain without the menstruation (I know, everyone's favourite subject).
I felt like such a stupid child when I was telling the educator. I said "I'm not feeling very well right now," as I pinched my eye trying to not release the slowly pooling tear. Today was just so bad though. It came completely out of nowhere. One second I was fine the next I was keeled over from the sharp stabbing feeling in my lower abdomen. I don't know if maybe I'm also getting sick but I was dry heaving, having the most overactive bowels and on top of that having chills and heat flashes. I have a problem that I never feel like people believe me about stuff like this. I want to be able to present people with evidence of my illness. Even to me though it just seems unbelievable to think that someone can be in so much pain because of something so 'normal' and frequent as your period. I was telling Julian that I want some proof that I don't have a tumour, or a cyst or something causing that pain. If it is simply menstrual pain I'll deal with that but I don't really feel like I have been giving any reassurance that there are not other causes (as paranoid as that may sound). It seems rather odd that something can be considered non-pathological when it is this debilitating.
I am getting paid this week which should be quite a change from last week where I basically just paid off my credit card and paid Julian back for a bunch of trip stuff. I'm going to try really hard to save the majority of it. If Julian and I end up going to England it would be nice to just coast off my summer earnings for a change.
I guess I don't have anything very interesting to say on this thing.
I have this new fixation with researching all Canadian bands to maximize the chance of being able to see a band I really like live. I figure, there are other people in different countries who would probably kill to see some Canadian group or artist but maybe because of where they live, there is a very slim chance that this may happen. I want to take advantage of these opportunities. Besides, I have a lot of faith in Canadian music. I feel like Canada has a lot of ignored (or at least under-acknowledged) musical brilliance. So far I haven't even made it past the A's. I am at The Acorn, a band I know that I like, just not to what extent at this point.
Its so gratifying to make decisions in which the process is almost as enjoyable as the result. Maybe that is why people become so obsessed with classifications. Its like an organized sport. It gives them an excuse to dedicate so much time and importance to something that is nothing more than a harmless indulgence. Best of all, they can validate their decisions as works of art that parallel the art that they love to admire.
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