seeing how others love you
makes the light from my hand glow dimmer
I can't give you
anything exceptional
I become less interesting
with your eyes off of me
that is the inescapable rabbit hole of my perception
I am selfish and calculating
I am more withdrawn
as you soar
I keep waiting to be missed
I keep waiting to be held
and I will stop waiting
naturally
without force
I return to a more basic skin
and have conversations with different versions of me
and it is good for me
I become "normally attached" perhaps
more balanced
but I've always preferred the fall, the longing
to the catch
I remember what it feels to belong to the ocean only
like my keys, or my new winter gloves
love is so easy to lose
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