seeing how others love you makes the light from my hand glow dimmer I can't give you anything exceptional I become less interesting with your eyes off of me that is the inescapable rabbit hole of my perception I am selfish and calculating I am more withdrawn as you soar I keep waiting to be missed I keep waiting to be held and I will stop waiting naturally without force I return to a more basic skin and have conversations with different versions of me and it is good for me I become "normally attached" perhaps more balanced but I've always preferred the fall, the longing to the catch I remember what it feels to belong to the ocean only like my keys, or my new winter gloves love is so easy to lose