Sometimes my body isn't my own My mind is a willing soldier uncomfortable in civilian clothes That's why this morning there was a vacancy in me I tried to hide I didn't want to disappoint you You've waited at the shore for so long You kept your sadness close to keep me closer And I am so grateful when I can remember to act my citizenship when I tie my shoes and clothes the door of the dark room I want to be loved but most of all I want to be loving I want to make people laugh at parties without feeling sick to my stomach but even if I don't I am so grateful that you are an arm's length away