city of stars

I woke to the orange ember sky seeping through the closed blinds like thread through teeth summoning something I cannot speak I wanted the contrast across the sky but by the time I got to the window only subtle echoes remained I knew then I couldn't reach you not even your illusion Even in my dreams you are unclear fuzzy hallucinations Defiant memories, belligerent/poor historians create caricatures of shadows poor traces of your voice If you are permanent in your absence than this life is forever undone arbitrary moments, tied together, nonsensical encounters, suspended in moments chaotic time pierced together like broken glass When all is lost perhaps I can recover the tiniest trace of how he loved me just the smallest dose to keep the intention to stay intact to stay being to recognize myself

Puncture wound made dull with time (Threads made taut with practice tracing the lines) Contours become veins and veins become binds When you left us our skin ripped at the bone un-cemented   our messy insides   cold against the first frost   raw against the sharp wind I made promises to you with your body in the abstract what was left of you couldn't contain that beautiful tenderness layers of warmth and recognition but your chest torn open like an over-ripe fruit I should have bound it back together your eyes made dull with the fluids infused and extracted violating the beauty of a dreamer your last words to me almost inaudible when you resonated in my chest melodic, exuberant To say that you were Like saying day is not like the night Your body like a flag calling me home Your body like the moon pulling the horizon of the tide I miss you like the call of the loon I miss you like the golden yolk of the sun like the white o...